Week 1949

Like all kids, my kids get grumpy when they don’t get what they want. Quite often they don’t even want the thing they say they want, they just want to be able to get it. What they really want is to be in control and make decisions.

If you’ve seen the secret life of 4 year olds, or you’ve looked after a child over the age of 1, it’s pretty obvious how emotionally similar kids are to adults.

I’ve read that perceived lack of control and not being part of decisions increases stress.

“Control freak” is a negative term which implies wanting to control others. If it was just me on the world, there would be no contention. I would be in control to do what I wish, within physical constraints. Lack of control is the tension between your will and someone else’s. We want control over others and we have to compromise between our equal desire for it.

I’d like to make decisions that result in more perceived/actual control for myself, and remember that everyone else is entitled to as well.